Advantages of the National Unified Identity Number

Posted: September 19, 2009 in Uncategorized

The National Unique Identity Authority (NUID) has been in news ever since the Prime Minister picked up the boss of InfoSys, Nandan Nilekani, and gave him a Cabinet Rank to implement this. Many groups have been protesting about this since this is being felt as being pushed through more for benefit of IT industry rather than genuine benefit of the citizen. It is also being cloacked in the garb of solution for delivery of social welfare benefits. No one is able to answer for the reasons of failure of rationcard, election card and similar. Such “dog tag” can have unintended consequences if right of citizens are not safe gaurded. Here in lighter vein is an imaginery dialouge between a customer and an anonymous BPO employee:

Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your…”

Customer: “Heloo, Heloo, can I order..”

Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?”

Customer: “It’s he…,hold……….on……889861356102049998-45-54610″

Operator : “OK… You’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jal Vayu. Your home number is 22678893, your office 25076666 and your mobile is 09869798888. Today morning you landed in India at IG International Airport. Welcome back, Sir. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”

Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : “We are connected to the system , Sir”

Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”

Operator : “That’s not a good idea ,Sir”

Customer: “How come?”

Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”

Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”

Operator : “Try our Low Fat Pizza. You’ll like it”

Customer: “How do you know for sure?”

Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir”

Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”

Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The total is Rs 500.00″

Customer: “Can I pay by! Credit card?”

Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir..”

Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives”

Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”

Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”

Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your Nano Car…”

Customer: ” What!” Operator : “According to the details in system ,you own a Nano car,…registration number GZ-05-AB-1107..”

Customer: ” ????”

Operator : “Is there anything else , Sir?”

Customer: “Nothing… By the way… Aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”

Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic……. “

Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^

Operator : “Better watch your language Sir..Remember on 15th July 2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman…?”

Customer: [Faints]

Advantages of National Unified Identity Number Attributions to the net as I picked this up from Sudev’s Blog who in turn picked it up from from a mass Cc’d email.

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Comments
  1. ABHILASH P NINAN says:

    The National Unified Identification Number program is an essential project to uniquely identify each individual in the Indian Territory. The access to the attributes (details about the individual) is limited or controlled to the agency that access it. Not every agency can see all the details. A pizza man will be able to view the address and date of birth not all the details. The interpole may have access to all details. So the above story is out of context and distorted facts.

  2. The ID card project is a matter of identity. Its economic importance lies in the fact that the card project will ensure streamlining of resources to correct beneficiaries, prevents wastage, better estimations of resources to be pumped to a target audience, and finally ensure that benefits reach as intended. This will create the best economics.

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